Wednesday, August 10, 2005

from outtie to innie

To those of you who were kind enough to ask about the Exorcist's health, my most sincere thanks.

I'd been walking around for years now with a growing protrusion that I always assumed was an alien growing in my abdomen. When fully developed, my inner ET would burst out, fangs dripping, and wreak unholy havoc on all humanity. That's how these things always pan out, right?

Anyway, imagine my mirth when, at my check-up a couple of weeks ago, the physician tells me I have an umbilical hernia.

What, no alien?

Nope. Just an unruly outtie.
Probably safer for all of us.

So they popped it all back in and slapped some kind of fibrous mesh over my abdominal wall to keep the rambunctious little fella in its place.

Bottom line: I have gone from looking like this > looking like this.

When, alas, all I ever wanted was a baby alien I could call my own.